Why it hurts to be the Alpha

Welcome, if you’ve come here then you’re probably searching for something better in your life. I was just like you (fuck that’s cliche isn’t it, haha, sorry, I’m gonna be a bit ad lib), and I wondered what I was doing wrong. Should I be a more aggressive male? The leader of the pack? Should I speak when spoken to but not when looked down upon? Could I use my power to tower over others? The conclusion came to me that it was a No. And not just because I wanted to be nice to people.

I felt there was an innate desire within me to seek harmony, to seek love (bleh, fuck off, close the page, what’s this faggot doing talking about love?) let me just say for the record that I never hung out with anyone who called another person a “faggot” but I’ve grown to love the word. Not for its homophobic inclinations but because of its strength. And what do I mean by that? There isn’t a man in this world who wouldn’t react at being called a faggot. In fact I was one of those men who would sit by idly and just take it. “They can’t get to me” I’d think, “I’m in here”, “You can’t feel inferior without one’s consent” or something like that… But by turning away from people who called me faggot, little did I realise that I was actually giving them power. I was acting out of fear, and let me tell you that that just leads to more fear. If modern psychology has taught us anything, its that whenever we do something out of fear, our anxiety grows. So I would sit by idly, or turn away or run.

Now, is there any power in running? Running from a fight I mean and yes, surprisingly, there is. I mean if someone’s coming at you with a knife, it’s not brave to stand still and just take it, that’s stupidity at its best and people stand by idly because they are afraid. That is by far the one thing I can say that is always a reaction of fear; doing nothing. Even making eye contact, looking at your phone, shuffling your feet; they are not reactions of fear if you do them in the right way. But standing frozen, the blood aching in your toes, means that you have left your body because you are too afraid to face what might come next.

So what am I talking about? I’m talking about becoming a Beta. I used to think of myself as an Alpha male. Wow, I have all this power over people, I can make them do what I want by just being kind. That’s when I realised I wasn’t being kind, I was being manipulative so I tried something different and I realised I did have a power, a power to show people kindness but not necessarily a power to get them to show it back (haha). And through this power I saw that every interaction could be just as fulfilling and optimal as the last (told you I’d get to my point). You don’t always need to dominate to get what you want.

In our modern world we’re told that having fast cars, hot women, exciting lives will make us happy and fuck yeah, it totally would but it would be useless without the struggle. To take from someone something which isn’t yours is to take a piece of yourself and say to it “fuck you, I don’t need values” but ultimately you become hollow. That’s why so many douchebags can rise to the top, because they’re willing to tread all over people to get what they want and that leaves them empty. Because they’ve taken out every piece. If you look at every get rich quick scheme, or any company that is just fluff, that is just shameless self promotion (like selling expensive water, or island getaways, getaway from what?) you’ll see that they lose what they get as quick as they gained it. And maybe they won’t end up homeless but they’ll just be on the hunt for the next adventure to win. That’s why Trump has been bankrupt so many times, he doesn’t know how to make something sustainable. Truly, he looks like a gambler who’s just on a massive winning streak, fumbling around in the dark, trying to find the light.

You can carry your light wherever you go, but try and run too fast and it’ll burn out (too many metaphors?). What I’m trying to say is in order to ACTUALLY be successful, you need to work out a way to actually work with people, instead of trying to dominate them. And telling someone to “fuck off” when they’ve wronged you isn’t dominating them, it’s meeting them in the middle ground. Look at it this way: I value you so much that I’m willing to speak up and tell you when you’ve wronged me and see what you’re gonna do about it. Saying “I don’t care” and taking the “higher ground” never fucking works, because then that person is just gonna try and overcome you in the next interaction. No man is higher than any other in the world, we all come from the womb and die in the grave, no exceptions. So it’ll be good for you to take some humility to your workplace. And speaking of workplaces, this kind of behaviour is especially detrimental in a workplace. The reason modern workplaces are such horrendous places to work is that nobody understands conflict resolution.

Conflict resolution starts from the outset of a relationship but I’ll go into detail with that in a later breakdown. What I want to say for now is that there is a better way to do things and that is to be the Beta. The Beta male is a male that everyone comes to forĀ advice, whose presence you feel but don’t necessarily notice when they walk into a room, whose advice you’ll take but won’t necessarily use (because I mean, people have their own autonomy and don’t have to do everything you say, you narcissitic bastard LOL) and whose brother, friend and uncle everyone wants to be. (I thought making them all male roles could tie in better with my theme). Anyway, I’m glad you’ve come to read this, I’m willing to give you guidance on how to live your life better and stronger. Like a tall Oak tree that’ll never get cut down, but will come up against threats from time to time šŸ˜‰

 

Joshua Thompson

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