See, I would read this is as Polish. As in the country and I’m not sure really what to write about Poland, except that they were heavily involved in WWII.
I once heard someone say that Polish people are depressed or depressing and that Warsaw was a depressing place. Well, for a place that houses a Nazi camp, or the remnants thereof you’d think it’d be a little bit depressing? We were in high school and she was 17, speaking through her 12 year old self who had visited Poland. But it got me thinking, do all places have the be happy fun and cheery?
I had a bit of a moment this week where I relapsed into a bout of sadness. Now it wasn’t depression because I know how depression feels and that is a lack of emotion. But this was definitely the cool drag of sadness. The kind of sadness that only Slavic hostiles know.
You know the ones who survived the war and lived through capitalism when it first arrived. I felt sad and I wondered why, but I more wondered why I wasn’t letting myself just feel it? I was still doing stuff, everything was just shaded by this cool blue that coloured everything like a dark cloud. I guess all those poets and centuries of literature has been right about how sadness feels and impacts your view of the world. But it wasn’t something I could come out of. I knew it would pass.
And this is when I realised that sadness isn’t bad, I actually kind of enjoyed it. It was quite a change from blissful anonimity that I mostly feel. I got to enjoy things in a different way, see them in a different light, all from the comfort of my loungeroom. And it also gave me a reason to stay in bed. “I feel sad” is as good an ailment as any I suppose.
We live in a world that doesn’t allow us to feel, that’s scared of people getting angry and even angrier at people who feel sad. Aren’t I allowed to feel my emotions?! No say the workforce, no says your local baker, stop telling me about your life story, I’ve got customer to serve. I was watching a video in which a spritely millenial used the term: “Don’t you have anyone else to talk to” No, I don’t, that’s why I’m telling you? That’s sad? what’s even sadder is my dad’s just died. So how about that? FFS.
That’s what happened in the video, a woman talked about her dead dad to the sandwich maker and he was perplexed as to why she was telling him her life story. Maybe it’s because she thinks you’re a good listener you selfish prick. Seriously, it really gets on my nerves that selfish and pragmatic millenials believe that they don’t have to give even their time to people in need. Haven’t you ever heard of volunteering you little fuck?
Where was I? Oh right, Poland. I don’t think Polish people are so bad. Sad, maybe but homely, sure. They know kindness. Or as my favourite character from The GoldFinch would say “Swedish, very unhappy people” Okrzyki!