The Myers-Briggs

The Myers-Briggs test is a realy destructive thing in our society. Not only does it indicate that people’s personalities are “fixed” it also indicates that we can’t change or do well under different kinds of situations.

Vox video on the Myers-Briggs

It’s a spectrum apparently, Introversion versus Extroversion but the idea of “Introversion” is inherently flawed. It’s just another label to understand how people interact, one that’s “binary” and uninfluential but somehow pervasive. This is pop-psychology. And I mean the thing is that psychology is complicated, but it’s not something that can be understand by crunching numbers or understanding physics.

Humans have feelings and our feelings play into how we will interact in EVERY situation, perhaps not in our choices but definitely our interactions. Even saying “I don’t care” is as potent as sucking “I fucking hate it”.

An intuitive person can understand what someone is actually saying, from their tone, their eyesight and just their all around demeanour. But many of us are blocked by trauma and emotional stunting, handed down by our parents or superiors. We can break free of that, as I’ve discussed in other posts…

But what is the Myers-Briggs? It’s a test that employers use to define their employees by a rigid standard. Now people might say “But sixteen is a lot” (that’s how many types exist) but truly the types aren’t all that different. If you’ve ever taken the test, you’ll know how wonderful and individualistic you are. See that’s the problem with this test, it’s makes everyone sound special.

That’s the problem with our culture, we’re always looking for a way to explain our behaviour. But if we learned to not explain ourselves, not apologise for our actions and just sit with the guilt and frustration that comes with living life we would come to see that this world is not for us. It’s built to work against us.

I think it’s hilarious that organisations use personality tests when they themseles have no psychological training, and also no psychological involvement in their own trauma and baggage. But that’s the problem, people don’t know how other people work! Don’t you think as human we would have the best understanding of ourselves? It’s true, our autonomy has been taken away.

Our sense of knowing things that others don’t! Our sense of well-being, of taking risks and when to hold back. We each know what the “correct” choice is, so why don’t we listen?

Some crummy test isn’t going to help employers be better, it’s not going to help anyone.

I used to get so obsessed by the idea, with my “type”. First I was an ENFP, then I was an INFJ. Can you believe how excited I was to be an introvert? It finally explained all my flaws, all my awkwardness in situations! Well perhaps I just didn’t want to be there… perhaps I didn’t want to flirt or “try and make friends”, perhaps I just wanted to be ‘myself’.

My explorative and loving self!

 

Fake Happy

So I’ve been listening to Paramore’s new song “Fake Happy” and although as touching as it may be, it really got me thinking about my own life. What do people mean when they fake smile? Do they do it with intention or are they just afraid? Anyway, I thought I’d transcribe the lyrics and dissect them for my pleasure (and yours). Enjoy!

I been doing a good job of makin’ ’em think
I’m quite alright
But I hope I don’t blink
You see its easy when I’m stomping on a beat
But no one sees me when I crawl back underneath

See what I love about this first paragraph (or verse) is that you get the feeling Hayley has been in many situations where she just doesn’t fucking care, but she has to pretend to be happy. Correlate this with another song on the album “Rose-Colored Boy” in which she says:
“Just let me cry a little bit longer
,
(sic)
Hey man, we can’t all be like you”
And you get the sense that Hayley has had to put up with some real bullshit. Heavens knows I’d slap a bitch if they didn’t let me cry. You gotta let it out man, holding it in hurts. People tell me to “be happy” (or well they used to), all the time, but those people have no idea what the pain feels like. When you don’t want to do something or you feel violated by someone elses stupidity and aroggance. I can imagine Hayley being in the car, not wanting to go into this party where she has to be “fake happy”, telling her boyfriend to just let her cry. Funny.

If I smile with my teeth

I find this interesting because I used to never smile with my teeth. I must have always looked Glum, haha.

Bet you believe me

And the funniest thing is that I think people do actually believe you. Or at least they don’t care because they feel pain too, and your pain makes them uncomfortable and frustrated. So just smile, and it’ll be alright.

If I smile with my teeth
I think I believe me

This is pretty fucking creepy if you think about it. Because we do believe ourselves when we smile, “oh this is me being happy”. Actually I’ve seen that given as advice on tumblr and shit, “smiling makes you feel better”. Well if I’m being abused every day, smiling isn’t going to make me happy, haha.

Oh please don’t ask me how I’ve been

I feel you Hayley. I’m so over being asked “how I am”, it’s a very invalidating thing that the English language expects us to answer with “Good”. Sometimes it’s just a greeting, other times I feel like I’m actually being questioned about my wellbeing and health, and yet I’m expected to answer “GOOD!” when I’m feeling bad. Otherwise I’ll pity and stupidity. “Oh what’s up schnookums”… Fuck Off.

Don’t make me play pretend
Oh no, oh what’s the use
Oh please, I bet everybody here is fake happy too

This is the funny thing, we often do feel that others are making us play pretend and yet we don’t recognise our own involvement in the situation. The double entendre in this line is quite fascinating. “Playing pretend” is something children do, but in this instance it’s something trifle and horrible, to be avoided. The meaning of “pretending” has flipped in adulthood. We pretend to keep other people happy and into “it”, whatever “it” may be. But usually I would feel exhausted and never feel “into it”…

And if I go out tonight, dress up my fears
You think I’ll look
alright with these mascara tears?

The idea of dressing up one’s own fears is very unusual. But if you look at it closely that’s what we do. We wear designer clothes and fancy jewellery in order to not b judged by those around us. We want to impress in order to be accepted. Our fear of innacceptance is more potent than our desire to be free. So Hayley says, “how about I draw my face on how I want”, with her “Mascara tears?”, and in this way people will be able to see “the truth”. That she’s been crying and is vulnerable. There’s nothing more vulnerable than showing people that you’ve cried. If you let them, people will really ridicule you for it.

See I’m gonna draw my lipstick wider than my mouth
And if the lights are low they’ll never see me frown

This part of the song is definitely about performing. To be a good act for the audience. I feel like an audience would respond to you if you were being “real” but how can you be real when you don’t want to be there. Maybe it is time for Hayley to give up paramore? It seems like it’s at the end of it’s rope. It was a creative journey but it’s time for something new. I think she’s gone out with a good bang.

Thanks for listening!

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