The Anatomy of Fear

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I got this idea while I was watching somebody review a horror game (Yahtzee Croshaw anyone?), yes I make identifiable references to pop culture! Deal with it! Anyway, fear is an illusion. Yes I said it, it’s an illusion. “But I already know that! How can you help me?”

Well here’s how, stop letting fear ruin your life. You know how after a scary movie (and don’t lie because we all do this), the fear of the film (if you can feel fear you psychopath) doesn’t leave you for a few days? That’s because you have absorbed somebody else’s fear. What I mean is, the director created fear in the film, the psychological impression of fear and you absorb that and duplicate it psychologically. What we’re actually afraid of is the darkest recesses of our own mind, not the film itself.

Yes ok, I know that, but what can I do about? Well the solution for most is to face it, by being mean to it. In the movie the Babadook, she stands up to the monster and tells it to leave, essentially taking back her power. But you’ll notice it never actually leaves. And that’s the thing about fear is that it never actually leaves if you keep telling it to.

You can’t make someone leave by just telling them to “fuck off”, you’ll notice people respond in one of two ways. They either ask “what’s wrong” or they’ll snap back at you and then the conversation ends in a rage of hurried words and desperate actions. To actually make somebody leave peacefully, you must ask with Love and truly they will leave you alone. Or you have to get up and leave, every situation is different. There’s no hallmark for empathy.

So when you face fear and tell it to “Fuck Off’, you’re acknowledging its existence. You accept that it exists and you accept its place in your heart. But the truth is fear doesn’t exist because you’ve made it up.

The fact of the matter is that to do something or to not do something is that same thing. It’s kind of like when people say “I don’t want any help” but what they actually want is help? And they’re desperately crying out for attention? Yeah, that sort of thing. Now I’m not saying we shouldn’t help those people but we don’t need to pity them because we’re all like them. The amount of people I see getting uncomfortable when I cry is astonishing, is everyone in this world soulless? I hope not, since you’re reading this, and I genuinely believe that not everyone is.

We’re all just locked inside and the cage we’ve created is called fear. See fear is imagined, like genuinely imagined. Yes there is danger, but how often do people come at you with knives or you’re attacked with a gun? All of our strife is born out of fear. Think about a war: “we can’t stand down otherwise they’ll think we’re weak and attack”, so you’re scared they might attack so you’ll attack first? Infallible logic.

I’m not sure if that’s how it actually works but that’s how movies portray it. And movies reflect our worldly notions so there.

I recently watched “Arrival” starring Amy Adams. Great movie, I highly recommend but I would say that the FBI guy is an absolute dick. His initial response is: “The aliens are here to attack us, fucking blow them up” and when Miss Adams is trying to work the whole thing out he keeps coming up with his fear mongering like: “We need to move now! China’s gonna fuck us up!” when the Aliens haven’t even done anything? They’re just scared? And you’ve misunderstood them because you’re too scared to face them?

I watched a clip on msn.com the other day. It was headed “vicious shark attack captured of film” or something to that affect. Literally the shark grabs the canoe in its mouth and swims around for 14 minutes and that’s the whole video. Yeah sure, that’s scary but nothing happened. It wasn’t a “vicious shark attack”.

It’s up to Amy Adams in the movie to work out that she can take off her suit and face them, and even when there’s an explosion neither Amy Adams or Jeremy Renner die. So the Aliens can’t be that bad! And they want to give her a “weapon” but it’s a metpahorical weapon, which is the most powerful weapon. The weapon of kindness! No truly, they give her a language which allows her to see the space time dimension for what it is, ever growing and changing and all happening in a line. I think. Anyway, my point is (for those who’ve seen the movie) the dumb characters act out of fear (that being the government). And I’m sick of the world being portrayed as mad and see-hungry for the death of aliens or muslims or whoever.

We  need to stop treating each other like garbage and I’m not saying keyboard warriors on the internet, I’m talking about real life interactions. People only react in bad ways due to fear. There’s a difference between someone standing up for themselves and someone just being a dick. Social anxiety is such a big issue these days because people are so scared of each other. Scared of being shot down for what they think, scared of not having their needs met, scared of not being treated like a human. Being a “dick” means you have no sense of empathy for another person, you’re just afraid of what they might do to you.

Now this is where the “survival instinct theory” comes in. People believe that we are wary of strangers because we want to defend ourselves, no, we’re not. Children aren’t scared of strangers because they only know Love, and they trust their instincts. Now I’m not saying we have to be exactly like children, but we have to learn something from this. The little boy in the “Babadook” says “exactly what he’s thinking just like his father”, now this is a plot device to set the movie forward, she’s scared of her son because of her dead husband hiding in the closet, but in reality all children are like this.

They just say exactly what they’re thinking! Children that is. They have no fear, wouldn’t you like to live like that? Without fear and without prejudice? First you have to accept that fear was something you were taught, fear was something that developed when you were told you lived in a world where you couldn’t defend yourself and strangers wanted to rape you.

If you can treat just one person in your life with kindness it will change your life. You don’t need to worry about Tsunami’s in Afghanistan or the war in Syria, you can’t influence those things, you can’t even help people on the other side of your country without sending them money. So how about you try and help those around you who actually need it? You know who they are. They’re right there in front of you. You’re just afraid they’re going to reject you.

Thanks for listening,

Adios, til next time.

Joshua Thompson.

Make a Living doing ANYTHING

You know all thos gurus that tell you to “follow your dreams” and “it’s the power of belief”, don’t you think it’s funny that all those gurus believed themselves into the power of being able to convince other people that that is true?

You need to follow your path, whatever it is but only you can carve it. Sound too sappy? Well it is, life is sappy. And the kind of person who hates that also hates themselves because hate is what is keeping you down. And these gurus, they’re just doing what is important to imitate Love. To imitate the life energy that runs through all of us but is barely ever spoken of.

You can make a living doing pretty much everything, it is fear that drives us to the nine-to-five. It is fear that pushes us to buy a house to “have somewhere to live” but truly, having somewhere to live isn’t the sole purpose of your life, we’ve just been indoctrinated into some weird cult.

Now I’m not saying don’t buy a house, because houses are great, they’re a necessity for a world with no free accommodation (which is a basic need if you think about it and should be subsidised by the government like healthcare and the army?), what I’m trying to say is that you’ve got to do it when the time is right. And if the time is right. And sometimes the time is never right for some people.

Don’t let the expectations of other people get in the way of your journey. We’re all on a path going somewhere and if death is actually inevitable then why does it matter where we’re going? We’re gonna have fun along the way, for sure. There is romanticisation of poor people in our world and yet many people are being afraid of being poor. (Ok that jump was a bit much to make but what I mean is, afraid of being poor and dying of hunger etc.)

Well as a person who is actually poor, I can tell you, it’s not that bad. And I’m not even worse off than most. I’m pretty lucky actually, roof over my head, expendable income. I just don’t own anything.

Now stop right there, I’m not condoning minimalism. Remember what I said about identity, that the “I” the ego is just fictional. It’s a story we tell ourselves. And whether you are rich or poor, consumerist or minimalist, it really doesn’t matter because the adverse cannot exist with the preverse(?). English is a weird language.

Do you get what I mean though? You can be anything without actually being it. And that’s what these gurus teach, these wonders of the modern world, like Tony Rollins or Oprah Winfrey (ok, she’s not that bad) but she’s still an American hell bent on world domination.

Satisfaction and Joy just comes if you let it. You don’t need to be anyone, or do anything or experience any kind of life that isn’t your own. People go around saying “I’m an actor” when they haven’t even been in a movie because they believe it’ll make them a big star if they just “believe”. Well the problem is you don’t actually believe it. Yeah people who do think they’ll get there do say it allowed, but to be honest, it’s because they feel it inside.

That’s what I’m talking about when I say it imitates Love. And who said you get to be the Guru with all the insight anyway? Who have you actually helped? Who have you helped who has experienced Joy and Happiness.

I had a psychologist (no longer thank god) who told me that he had a client who couldn’t accept all of the “Love” life was giving her. And when he spoke about “Love” he was talking about material possession. She had a big house and a rich husband, (and 3 kids but that’s beside the point), I don’t know if it’s just me, but I can’t get Love from something unless it’s a gift, filled with kindness and not just a hollow gesture to buy my affection.

And there’s a difference as well shall see.

 

But that’s all for today,

so I’ll see you soon!

Distance

via Daily Prompt: Distant

The distance between us is stifling. I can’t bear, I can’t bear to look at you any longer when you’re so far away. But you’re just sitting over there, on the edge of the sofa, no less than three feet away. So why do I feel so hollow?

Has anyone else ever felt like this? Felt lonely even though there was somebody nearby or felt sad even though you had a very happy friend beside you. There’s so much dissonance in this world that it’s stifling. Sometimes we think that it’s us? I’m not open, I’m not the fun one and sometimes it is.

Sometimes we’re just a negative Nelly because we feel shit and other times, it’s becasuse the other person is not reciprocating our love. Love needs to be reciprocated, it can’t come from one person and be wholly rejected by another. And the other things is, you have to be accepting of Love, open to it. But you can’t be if you don’t know what Love is.

Sometimes Love fades, and sometimes it was never there at all. Excitement is not love, joy is not Love. Usually we know love when we feel it, but not always, sometimes we think Love is hating a person, wanting to fuck them. That’s not love though, treating someone like an object is not Love, I’m sorry to say. And if you’re approaching people that way then you’re contributing to a dark world.

So I say, try and close the distance between the two of you. What is the block that’s got you two seperated. Focus on the now, don’t think about way back when, don’t try and blame. Because we’ve all done that, bring something up in the middle of a fight. It’s no one’s fault, we feel shitty, lets try and work it out. Am I closed off, or are you?

Let’s break the cycle before it’s too late and we end up taking so much Xanax that we don’t even know what feelings are anymore.

We have the power to do anyhing and everything so let’s give it a shot. Nobody needs to change, we just need to look inward and approach with Love.

 

Sorry to be sappy,
it’s the only way I know how.

xoxo Gossip Josh

 

Having a Schedule

Okay, let’s stop with the bullshit. Nobody has a schedule. Nobody goes to bed at the same time every single night and falls asleep at the exact same time. Okay maybe some people do but those people are robots. But for the more sentient of us, the chances are that we don’t have the ability to run ourselves like clockwork.

How could this be? Well unlike modern science has told us we don’t actually need 8 hours a night. Some need 10, some need 6 but some of us have varying degrees of how much we need depending on what we’ve done during the day. So you know the reason you can’t get to sleep at night? It’s not because you don’t have a night time schedule. It’s because you’re anxious right? Maybe you’re anxious because you don’t actually want to go to sleep? Is that a surprise.

I don’t sleep unless I need to, and I know most nights I’m going to get a regular amount of sleep (I usually sleep a lot but I try not to) but when you’ve got nothing to do you just wake up when you wake up. Why should I beat myself up about it? As long as I wake up feeling refreshed.

Now there was a time when I never woke up feeling refreshed. Even now there’s that mild cathartic look for when I wake up, I don’t know where I am, I don’t know what’s happened and I don’t know why I’m here. Then just like a computer, all the data comes rushing back to me and I’m alive again. Why is this? I think it’s because this is the time when your soul is reconnecting with you body, sorting out all the data bits like a computer and making the most of the time you’re spending unawares.

But back to me being sleep deprived. Yes, I found it hard to sleep. I slept too much or I slept too little. I always felt like there was this little time when I “had” to go to bed. Even when I wasn’t tired, I would start to feel lethargic telling myself “I have to go to sleep soon, it’s past my bed time”. Umm, I’m an adult, I don’t have a bed time. Now modern science will tell us that it’s the way round that you feel sleepy then you tell yourself to go to sleep. No, it’s not, psychology tells us that our thoughts inform our feelings and actions. So yes, we can make ourselves tired through thought.

And that’s precisely what I did, I made myself tired through cognition. I always wondered why my peers could stay awake all night with reckless abandon and not feel the pinch in the morning. I constantly needed to sleep and if I didn’t then I wouldn’t be able to process my thoughts properly. Which is still the case but now if I go to sleep at 3am and wake up at 6am, I don’t badger myself for it. Because a. maybe that’s just how things are meant to go today and b. I’m an adult and I don’t fall asleep on the pavement when I’m tired haha (didn’t actually happen).

So to those who keep a schedule, I say fuck you. ‘Cause I have no idea how. And living in the present presents itself as a marvel as a wonder in which I don’t really have to contemplate the future or the past. You can just be, and things come to you when you need them. And you can have abundance if you decide to.

Thanks for listening,

Love ya 😉

The “asshole” Guy

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Yes… Russian Soldiers… “The Honor Guard” as it were. Everyone thinks they’re asshole right? Look at that guy with his chin stuck up in the air. I bet he hits his wife.

You know how on the interent there’s this garbage that says guys get “friendzoned”, well let’s leave that alone because that opens a whole new can of worms. What we’re going to talk about is how you can label someone else an “asshole” while calling yourself a “nice” guy. And this essentially goes for everybody, man or woman, but there’s a lot more about men in regard to this situation in the media.

So who is the nice guy? “Oh I dunno, someone who’s just nice”, see if you can’t give me an accurate description of a “nice guy” then they probably don’t exist. “Someone who opens the door for women, who pulls out their chair”, oh so someone who’s chilvalrous? Did you know back in the day they used to kill men who they thought were their competititon for a girl. Yes, duels were a real thing, and they ended in DEATH.

So chivalry is flawed, its just culture and culture doesn’t create us. It doesn’t dictate our behaviour, we create culture. It’s important to bring a gift when you go over to someone’s house, that’s culture, you give a hug to someone when they’re crying, that’s human. But not always because we conflate the two, culture and circumstance. Because some people don’t want hugs and some people don’t want to engage in culture, engage in being “nice”.

I went to centrelink this week (for those of you who don’t know, centrelink is where you go when you’re unemployed), now I had to stand up for myself. Stand up for not being treated like an idiot, like a loser. It just happens that circumstance has lead me to this point. It’s not because I’m inferior. Now, the “nice” mentality will tell you to agree, to always be amicable. Well, I’m not about that life. I’m not gonna walk all over people, so they can’t do it to me.

And that’s fair, that’s just. That has nothing to do with culture, being kind is universal. The way you shake your head is cultural.

They have this special way of “hanging out” in Denmark called “hugge”. And if you’ve ever heard of hygge (hugge? I dunno) then you know that it is inflated as the last bastion of hope for the modern world. Oh! If we could only be more like the Danes! What, conformist and depressed? Fuck yeah, let’s be like the Danes. Happiest country in the world apparently. But just like my friend’s father said to me (who is Danish btw), “What is Happiness? It’s subjective”, no truer words have been spoken.

So if you’re an “asshole” guy then how about you try being a “nice” guy. So how do I do that? And moreso, why would I want to do that. “Nice” guys don’t get dates. It’s true, they don’t. Because they’re weak, they either manipulate people by always being “Nice” or they can’t stand up for themselves. And I don’t want either, neither to date my friends or to be my friends. (If I had friends, haha). See friends to me are a bit like water, they’re not always needed but you can find them everywhere.

There is a fine line between being kind and being “nice” and you have to tread it carefully. Because before you know it, you can be plumetting down a field of self-abuse and self-hatred because you let somebody else feel like you’re inadequate. Just because other people don’t understand you doesn’t mean you’re stupid. You don’t have to take on everyone’s advice or candour. Not everyone knows the truth or how to be and everyone has a different view of how to live in this world, so how about you develop your own? And stop being “nice” cause in reality, you are actually the asshole. Peace Out.

 

How to keep you cool when you feel like a fool.

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Yes that is a stock photo of a computer “executive” smashing his laptop. Deal with it.

So you got angry, and you reacted, you snapped. The problem with Anger is that anger begets more anger. It snowballs until eventually you get tired and give up. Like when you’re trying to get an orgasm and then you hit just before the sweet spot and give up. You know that? Yeah me neither, but I’m sure you’ve been angry before so let’s talk about that haha.

Anyway, getting Angry is a part of nature, now some people associate anger with frustration. Frustration is when someone is complaining, they are whinging about their situation and they’re acting like a little kid. A kid that’s been abused, not a loved child, but a child all the same. Anyway (again), true anger is when someone looks bigger than you and with true anger you can destroy anything. I once threw a pot plant out the window and my god did people get scared.

That’s what happens when you get angry, people get freaked out. Now for those of you who do get angry often but have to learn to stifle that, let me tell you, you’re doing it the wrong way. Take it from the person who got so angry they got put in a Mental Asylum because everyone freaked out about their “change in character” (I was going through some emotional changes, give me a break, you might end up there one day too, we’re all capable of being pushed over the edge). So you got a bit pissed and people are now scared of you, or you’re walking on thin ice, egg shells, whatever metaphor you love and you don’t know what to do. Here’s the solution.

Love yourself, treat yourself with kindness, you’re allowed to get angry, it’s ok, you don’t have to feel guilty. Feel better? No, well how about this. Take your anger and go and smash a pot or whatever you want, something inexpensive and see how that feels, but try and stay in control of yourself. You’re just angry, it’s ok.

See the reason some men get so angry that they can’t control it is that they’ve never been taught how. But you can learn and since you’re an adult, you have much more control over yourself. Hopefully. Haha. Otherwise you might end up in a Mental Hospital like me. It was a dark time in my life, I don’t want to have to explain it, but I will, if I want. Anyway (once again) anger is incontrollable. You need to let it out in small bursts.

Let’s see, who are the least angry people in the world? People who listen to heavy metal. I used to be scared of heavy metal, like literally scared but really I was just scared of myself. Scared of what I was capable of when I got angry (and it’s a lot, trust me, the police got called hahaha) but I called them so it’s ok. Anyway, find the heavy metal that works for you. Or maybe you need to tear paper? Bash up your furniture with a pool noodle?

See, our society is scared of anger, so we’re not able to express it. And that is toxic, so those of us who can feel Anger, who know it’s power are treated like criminals. I’ve never hurt anyone, now my father, he’s threatened to kill people, I’ve just told people to fuck off. Suffice to say I don’t have contact with my father anymore (because I don’t have to).

What do I mean by someone “looking bigger than you” (what I said above), see we are a product of our experience, of our emotional trauma but we don’t see the world accurately. We percieve danger in all the wrong places, so when someone gets angry, they actually 100% look bigger than you, in your minds eye. You might not notice it if you’re not perceptive to other people’s emotions but when other people look frustrated they look like a silly little ball of anger, like misdirected energy. Someboy who’s actually angry, you need to stand away from. Somebody who’s frustrated, you need to comfort them. It’s a bit like anxiety.

So now that’s out of the way, we can talk about how to keep your cool. See, I always thought keeping your cool was stifling your anger, submitting to it but that’s wrong. You acknowledge that you have anger but you don’t show it, you use it your advantage. Because people can tell when you’re angry even when you don’t jump up and down screaming. In some situations you might feel like you’re overreacting and everyone is noticing your behaviour, but to everyone else you seem cool calm and collected. See, you can learn how to disperse our emotions slowly, with a slow release.

And once you’ve learned to do that, you can deal with the excess later, much later. That’s what listening to hevay metal does, it disperses the anger. See people do it in the wrong order, they try and listen to music to change their mood but you must listen to music to elevate your mood. And what I mean by that is, you listen to music to help your mood along, to feel like it’s ok to feel this way and let it be released out of you. If you mull it over, you’ll release it next time you see that person (or thing) and you’ll react like a trigger, snapping at the first point of pressure.

It’s alright to be angry but you must learn to approach each situation as it is. That is the ultimate goal of this life. And the only way to do that is to approach your emotions and let them flow out of you like pissing in the ocean hahaha

 

Seeya!

Joshua

Slaying Poon

So you like slaying poon?

Wrong.

You like being a womanizer. And that’s not necessarily a bad thing because some women need to be womanized. Like Julia Childs for example, she’s a fucking bitch. Did you see that movie? apparently she didn’t want anything to do with the blog or the movie at all! What a CUNT.

Anyway, you like being a womanizer. Go on, admit it. It’s easier to think that you have some kind of indismissable power over women because of your cock than it is to be vulnerable and have a real conversation.

See there’s a lot of gob being thrown around these days. “Be real”, well what is real? I’ll tell you, being real is understanding the situation and taking from it what you want. And I don’t mean stealing the last bowl of chips. I mean interacting. Cause unfortunately not everyone is going to be “nice” to you.

Get over it. Seriously our world is obsessed with people being nice. But people can do very nice things and be a total dick with untoward intentions behind all of it.

So stop being nice and start being real. So how do I be real? Here’s an idea, centre yourself by doing let’s say meditiation or if that doesn’t work for you, yoga. But don’t try and do things to run away from the problem. See those people that like running, they literally enjoy running away from their problems.

“I can feel better wthout having to face any difficulties!” No you can’t. Because that shit just come to haunt you later at a time when you’ve got no recourse for dicsussion about it. Because the person has already moved on.

It’s sad that modern psychology just tells you to “go work out” because physical exercise is the only way we know how to feel better. Everyone knows how to feel better, it’s just they don’t use those devices when they down. So why are we teaching people to lift dumbells and gym equipment when we aready know what to do? You just need to be reminded.

And don’t tell me the gym makes you feel good. You mean that sterile smell of washed iron and steel and the dredge of sweat all through the rubber flooring? Yeah, really good. Who needs to wear shoes inside? Shoes were made for the fact that we can’t walk on hard rocks and glass, not to protect our recious feet from running on vinyl. Like fuck.

“I could just get away and be with my own thoughts” yes, I know, so how about you learn to do that in your day to day life? Nobody can do that, take away your autonomy, without your consent. You just believe they can so you tell them they don’t want to know. You don’t have to expose yourself to danger. If you’re kind, people are literally scared of you (trust me, I’ve seen it happen) and they won’t ask you those pericing questions. If you’re deliberately pesissmistic in front of authority because you believe they own some imaginary power over you then you’re wrong and you’ll be punished for it. Not by god, obviously, but by your own actions, what you do will literally come to bite you in the butt. So just walk away.

Silence is one of the best tactics for getting what you want. People won’t seak if you’re silent, they’re scared of you. Even if they ask you a question, you may choose to be silent and ignore them, pretend like you didn’t hear. Especially if it’s an asanine question, you can just ignore it. And that’s being real, showing people how you realy feel. By ignoring their question, by telling them, by standing up to them even when they might shut you down because you deserve it. Your voice deserves to be heard and silence can be deafening if used in the right way, not just to spite people.

If an interaction leaves you feeling light and unburdened then that’s a good thing. Other people don’t have to admonish your guilt, you aren’t always going to do something good. Sometimes you’re gonna be bad, and that’s ok, god will forgive you. So how about you be bad just this once?

Tell your dad to fuck off? Tell your mum to eat shit? Haha, maybe not. But anyway. People aren’t there for you so don’t be there for them. You don’t have to be a doormat to walk over. In all earnesty be who you are. Be real. Be a beta male. Cause that’s who chicks wanna see. Someone who’s vulnerable kind and honest. Not someone who’s brooding, desperate and needy. And you’re needy if you lack the sustenance to tell yourself that you’re ok and you don’t ned other’s approval. You’re needy if you tell someone to fuck off when you really want them to come closer. You’re scared and lonely so get over it and be happy and open.

That’s all for today,

Fuck You.

How You Look

“I look ugly!” Oh really? Do you. You know I read this post (I think it was on tumblr; BLEH) that said something about appearing 100x hotter to yourself than to other people. Now that’s garbage but I see where they’re coming from.

If you think that you’re ugly then you will appear to other people as ugly, if you think you’re hot then you will appear to other as an asshole. See what I’m getting at here? These are both forms of identity with stigma attached to them. And when you think something about yourself inevitably you begin to wear a mask that says “here I am, this is me!”

This is just like what I was saying about the mind vs. the body. If you identify with the mind, with being smart (cause let’s be honest, we all are, we’re all capable of the same shit, it’s just what we choose to do and some people just want to work in a supermarket their whole lives and that’s fine! You judgemental prick). Anyway, if you identify with being smart or appearing smart cause you think that’s valuable then that’s how people will describe you, unless you don’t actually believe it and it’s just an affront. See the mind is multi-layered and the spirit tries to help out as much as it can but it can’t.

Because you have many different values and conflicting thoughts. You might believe “fake it til you make it” but in itself that is flawed. Cause if you’re always faking it then you will never be it. I never fake it, I am just me and part of that is being who people want me to be. Is that manipulative? No. Is it manipulative to be a confidant for your friend when their in strife? No. Then why is it manipualtive to act gay in front of people who are more comfortable with someone who is gay. You just learn to fit in. But that does not become you. You are not your identities. You learn to put on different hats. But not even that, you just accept how other people see you but you must always treat them wth kindness.

And through kindness these conflicting idneitities fade away. You learn not to see the world in conflict. Oh I’m hot, he’s not, I’m bad-ass, he’s a loser. These are just words, they mea nothing unless you derive a meaning. They can come of as arrogant and well-intentioned and hateful all at the same time. It’s up to you how you want to say it. But it’s not even about “tone” because you can’t choose your tone, just like you can’t choose your heartrate. Through your emotions you are able to speak in a variety of different ways.

Think of your emotions as your memory bank. Your RAM as it were, you access it in order to do certain function but you don’t actualy control those functions. They’re a medium to go through to get what you want. That’s just like life. You don’t have to remember everything to be great. You just have to remember some things.

Like that, you’re not your body and you’re not even your mind (I got that from a meditation exercise, copyright! lol) but at the same time, you are your body and your mind. You need to make these things work in harmony. And if you do decide to identify with something, (I’m a criminal, I’m a loser, I’m a drug addict) then taht becomes destructive because you start doing things that you expect other people want you to do. What about what you want?

You’ve heard people say “I’m just a loser” before they do something bad. Doesn’t that say something to you? “I am” is one of the most destructive words in the English language. You are nothing! But at the same time you are something. It’s scary to be nothing huh? You’re not a wife, not a husband, not a lawyer, not even a millionaire? You can be all those things, learn all those identities but you still won’t be you.

We don’t need objects to satisfy our cravings. If we were in the jungle, we would be happy with just stone and wood (that’s a good beer by the way). So that Apple computer that you crave so much? useless, That peice of garbage that you just threw away, useful? Haha. Maybe. But you don’t know because you don’t see things how they are, you see them how someone has told you them to be and that’s not right.

It’s not wrong either, it just is, and it’s unfortunate. There is no right or wrong. Think of it this way, is it right to be hot? or is it wrong to be hot? it depends on the situation. Some people may love hot people, but we’re coming to a situation where everybody hates everybody and everyone’s just fighting to be on the top of the pile.

Well, you will literally be on the top of the pile if we don’t stop what we’re doing. On the pile of death. Mass famine, mass extinction. We’re all gonna get wiped out by superbugs and lack of industry to fix it. Because we created the problem! And the reason is that we’re so scared of getting sick that we act in ways that are destructive to the enviroment. Germs aren’t going to hurt you!

Ok, I’ve gone a bit off track here, but I’m jsut passionate about the enviroment. But I’m aso not passionate, if someone asked me about the rainforests in Madasgascar, I’d be like “who?” haha.

See, it doesn’t matter because the process starts with you. If you learn to love yourself and I mean truly love yourself. Not giving yurself labels and identities but seeing them as useful. Then you will be able to love the enviroment and your impact will be much greater. But as long as we fight hate with more hate we will doom this planet to extinction. Because that’s the way the world works.

You are not ugly, you are not even hot, but most of all you are not even not.

Seeya,

Joshua Thompson.

Dating,

Fucking Dating. Are you serious? I had a friend who gave me the most valuable advice I’ve ever taken in relation to dating. “Just let it happen, who cares about dates?” which is completely relevant but I didn’t let it happen. I pretended to let it happen while desiring a love life that looked like a movie. And that’s the key point there: “Looked Like a movie”, it wasn’t a movie. Because movies give us magic, they show us what we want to see but we’re not looking properly and we just see the surface. What about the internal?
It’s funny because now that person is using Tinder to date guys, when she would make fun of me for using it (she broke up with her boyfriend). Tinder is a load of shit. It is a literal game. And that’s funny because dating is also a game. And it’s not a game that you want to win. Its not even a game that you want to engage in. Because if you have to manipulate someone (and let’s be honest, not replying to text messages INTENTIONALLY is manipulation, no matter how you turn it) Like, you don’t have to explain if you don’t want to reply but acknolwedge it for what it is. Don’t lie about it, when you say “I was just busy” but you were actually just ignoring them. THAT IS MANIPULATION.
So dating sucks. You literally have to trick someone into dating you. “Make your profile sound great”, there is no such thing as authenticity in online dating. It just doesn’t exist. You have to take your hottest photos (ones which don’t even look like you), you greatest achievements and your most boisterous personality types. ‘I’m a sagittarius who loves to play sport and eat pizza.’ Like you have to lie to sell yourself.
You know that movie “Cool Girl” where the woman talks about eating pizza and being hot? It’s that thing. And the same expectations are on guys. You drink and you’re also successful at work. You work out and you also dress nice. I’ve seen guys who go to the gym, they don’t dress “well”, they dress how they like. Which is comfortable and not versatile. So if you’re expected to work out and then also dress “well” (whatever the fuck that means) then you’re looking for a unicorn. And guys who dress like that look like they’re about to break.
You’ll often meet a guy who looks like they go the gym but they don’t. They just have a good body, it’s “good genes,” Yeah no such thing. Nobody has good genes, we all have the same genes. If we were in the wild, and under the same circumstances, we’d all look the same. It’s just your mindset about what you can achieve. You know, they played sport when they were younger, maybe you didn’t. How is that fair? He’s valued because it just happens that he worked out a lot. So you have to slog it out at ridiculous hours of the morning to have some semblance of a hot body.
See what dating does to you? Sends you down a rabbit hole just like I have been.
The funny thing is that there is no “ideal”. There is no “ideal” self, there is only you and the world. And what I mean by that is there is no image to aspire to. You know when you’re scrolling through Tinder, or swiping or whatever, you have this idea about the kind of guy girls want to see. And it’s usually a guy that you think you’re not. And if you are that guy then chances are you don’t understand why people are so obsessed with you.
Take Connor Franta for example. Has everyone seen him? He literally goes around making fun of the fact that he has a hot body. Some might say that he’s arrogant and he’s just showing off. But he’s not an idiot, what does he think he can get out of flexing for girls in the supermarket? Nothing.
He thinks it’s utterly ridiculous that girls wanna fuck him based on his physique. Which if you think about it is ridiculous. Now I’m not saying you should love people for their mind either because that’s a whole nother board game and people who value their minds more than their bodies are depressed. Because you can’t see the mind, but you can see the body. So people who are intelligent don’t have as many opportunities to show that off. And just because you got your computer degree from MIT doesn’t mean you’re intelligent, smart sure, determined sure but it doesn’t mean you’re going to make the next OS.
You need to have both, a strong body and a strong mind. And the only way to get those is to realise that you are neither. You know all those stories of people ripping off car doors when they’re in trouble? me neither. But you can say that people exceed their abilities when they’re on “adrenaline”, that’s just their true selves coming out to save the day. We don’t need huge muscles to lift a car, we don’t need anything to lift a car, we can get machines to do it for us (hahaha). But you get the picture, your value is not in your body or your mind because there is something else. There is something above and beyond the mind, body and spirit. And that is you.
People go around saying “I am depressed” Who is I? They don’t know. And neither do you. And that’s why you suck at dating. Because you don’t know you and you don’t know what you want and that’s going to lead you down the road to ruin.
Peace.

Family

When I was a lot younger, I used to say to myself: “If anything happens then I can always go back to my parents”. Now that is a horrible mentality. They brought you into the world so they should take care of you, right? No, your parent’s raising of you is just a thank you for their own life. They don’t need to take care of you like a pet. They also don’t need to treat you like one, let me elaborate.

Many people look up to their parents (like literally look up to them) but they aren’t omnipotent. They would just like us to believe they are. Remember when they gave an answer for everything we wanted to know? Yeah, that wasn’t helpful. They should’ve just said “I don’t know” and that’s fine because you don’t always need to know.

On the other end of the spectrum, people look down on their parents. Or more to the point, they turn away from their parents (which is not really the same as looking down but you get the picture). Which either you’re doing, you’re doing something in relation to your parents. I don’t want to be like them, I do wanna be like them, I wanna follow their legacy. What about your legacy? They don’t control you, you’re not a pet. And some may say that this is love.

It isn’t love because love isn’t used to control someone, to make someone else do what they want. “Don’t you love me?” one of the most manipualtive phrases in the English language. Speaking of emotional manipulation. I was watching an episode of Oprah where a girl was crying over her dead grandfather and the “grand guru” said, “now don’t you wanna honour your grandfather’s memory by respecting your mother?” Talk about emotional manipulation. Her father and mother are two different people! You can’t replace the respect she feels for her grandfather with the respect she’s supposed to feel for her mother. They have a different reationships.

They say there’s only one way to raise a child, that is wrong. Every child’s needs are different, just like every person is different. Children know who they are when they’re brought into this world, you don’t have to tell them. They ask you questions because they want you to know that it’s alright if you don’t know, they still love you. It’s you who needs your child love (to quote Dr. Shefali Tsabary), they are sovereign, just like you are sovereign.

So through our parents neediness, neediness to impress their friends, impress their parents and impress the invisible “society”, we become imprisoned. The need to “do the right thing” is so destructive. Think about it, even now you go to bed because you don’t want to stay up too late, you might disappoint your parents if you don’t get to school on time. This stuff becomes hardwired into you, and its not so easy to let go of.

This is why you can’t go back to your parents. You can’t go back to your parents because that expectation is weighing you down. And it’s weighing your parents down. You can only take of yourself and through taking care of yourself, you can learn to take care of others.

Its alright not to see your parents on the weekend, or have any kind of forced relationship with them. They’ll be fine!

Its you who’s the needy one, because they made you like that! They made you feel like you depended on them. The world is so dangerous that without them you will die. Which I mean, is just not true. Japanese people let their children go out on their own at the age of four. So if you didn’t need them then, then you don’t need them now.

Stop thinking that you need to go back, because you don’t. Let it die the ultimate death and start living the life you were supposed to live.

All is well,

Valhalla.